Statesville Haunted Prison 2021

Statesville Haunted Prison
Crest Hill, Illinois
Visited on Friday, October 8, 2021

Vital Signs:
Opened: 1996
Number of seasons-to-date: 25
Number of attractions: 1 (previous years had 2)
Size: 15,000 square feet
Number of actors: 130

When we found out in August 2021 that this would be the last season for the iconic Statesville Haunted Prison, a flurry of emotions ran over us. For most of the Chicagoland market, Statesville has been a staple within the scene. The thought was always that it was a permanent fixture, just like Second City or Navy Pier. If you didn’t visit it this year, you probably would next year. It was always the solid option that many took for granted – until it wasn’t. Unlike many television shows and theatrical runs, Statesville got something that many don’t get the chance to do: a victory lap and chance to say goodbye. Titled the “Final Fear,” Statesville announced that they would open for one final season as a way to thank their cast, crew, and audience for 25 years of amazing memories.

While the haunted attraction industry has gotten used to calling these articles “reviews,” we view them more as narrative experiences. Our goal was always to highlight all of the amazing parts we encountered to help you make your decision to attend the event. One of the easiest to write each year was our ‘review” of Statesville Haunted Prison because there was never a shortage of memorable moments. Even in their final year, where one might guess that the performance would be “phoned-in,” Statesville decided to turn up the volume to 11 and ensure their legacy won’t soon be forgotten.

From the moment you venture on the property, there is a buzz in the air. As screams and the sound of a .50-caliber gun blaze in the distance, patrons are lined-up outside the ticket booth draping the entire length of the attraction itself. Some patrons have tears, but all have huge smiles as their excitement mounts.

Once you make it to the Statesville grounds, you can’t help but compare the experience to a rock show. Instead of traditionally creepy music, Statesville has become quite famous for their playlist that includes popular rock, rap, and metal songs that the crowd and cast can move with and have fun. There are fire jugglers and icon characters like Fluffy, Heretic, Sharky, and this year’s newest addition Slider Jesus, as well as a host of others that keep the lines moving, laughing, and on their toes. Locked and loaded, these actors are hungry. Truly embracing their chance to serve time one last time it is an all-out attack. Out of that outstanding group of talent, of course Fluffy is the legend that fans fawn and adore over! (We are pretty fond of him as well!) Another amazing actress that always grabs our attention is Sharky. Whether you are being swindled, robbed, or mini-chainsaw attacked she is everywhere you turn with wit and fright! But all of that is just the start. Interactivity is key here, even though guests haven’t entered the door to the prison, the Statesville experience has already started.

The final step before entering the fray is a stop in the Dog Cage. Here, Statesville’s inmates can do their worst and play extra attention to those that need it. Each group is different, and may get to dance, sing, and embarrass themselves in a plethora of ways. It is certainly the last opportunity for some innocent fun before you are fed to the beast.

Inside the prison, the emotion became real again as we had our final opportunity to experience the legendary warden’s opening. While “O Fortuna” may have been part of our culture since 1937, I’m sure that anyone who has experienced Statesville’s show will forever attribute the cantata to the Crest Hill show.

Through the tight and twisting halls, actors are truly everywhere and more bloodthirsty than we have seen in years! Not only is it a fully encompassing, 360-degree environment, but it is an all-out assault! There are no safe corners, no dull moments, and truly nowhere to hide. Actors attack from all angles, as you weave in and out of a remarkably-designed route through padded cells, the maniac ward, the bus, and the always-entertaining shower room. We even had some of our newer team members jump in the sewers!

While the show has an epic beginning, many will argue it is all about the ending. Since we can remember, the ending has always been through the ever-evolving red-and-white clown room. As the room has grown and developed over the years, this multi-level/multi-layered experience will continue the assault and leave you questioning if you should stay and join!

Monsters of Note: Fluffy, Sharky, Heretic, Slider Jesus, and the gun!

The Bottom Line: (Taken from a special article/feature we wrote earlier this season: Link) On behalf of the entire team at Haunted House Chicago, we want to thank and recognize Paul, John, Kyle, and the entire crew of Statesville Haunted Prison for 25 years of paramount entertainment and unparalleled experiences. While Statesville has been recognized with countless local and national accolades from both industry and media outlets, we have been proud to name Statesville Haunted Prison the #1 haunted attraction within 100 miles of Chicago an unprecedented 12 times in our 21 years, and consistently within our top 4 attractions all other years. In addition, Statesville has 2 actors recognized with the Haunted House Chicago Jim Warfield Acting Award. Statesville has always been a major occasion during each review season, and future years will feel like there is piece of us missing, like one might feel with the loss of a beloved family member. We are extremely grateful to be able to experience the fear, celebrate the legacy, and feed the beast one last time. We hope you get the chance to do the same before it is too late!

But, don’t just take our word for it, check out media from our visit: